Last Night (from when I wrote this), there was a story about a murder on. Now the murder weapon was the drug suspected of killing Michal Jackson, but that is not what i’m going to talk about.
I am going to talk about women.
I will say right up front that I do not condone such actions as assualt or murder (usually), however in some cases I do understand them.
Now in this case the woman didn’t do anything overt to tease him, but that is not to say others didn’t.
That is also not to say she was 100% innocent, she knew about his “crush” on her, and did nothing to let him down easy.
Knowing someone likes you, and continuing to act like he’s just a friend (“oh, he’ll figure it out”), can be viewed as teasing.
She was stringing him along by never letting him know romance was not an option.
He found out that he had no chance when she told him she was engaged. What you might call a kick to the balls announcement.
In this case he was probably obsessed with her. That’s beyond what I’m going to be talking about. However, his obsession had to start somewhere.
As a shy person I understand his mentality very well. You feel inadequate, unable to approach the woman who has caught your eye.
So you do things for them to try and hint at your feelings. Never anything overt, least they be scared away. Just Little things to show she is special to you.
At best you tend to be viewed as a nice guy; or a friend (with a crush if they noticed, “oh, that’s so sweet…”).
At worst, you’re just a pathetic guy with a childish crush.
If she becomes aware of your “crush” she will do nothing to either give you the confidence to proceed, or have the decency to let you down early.
Here’in lies the problem. The attitude you treat us with.
There is nothing cute about it. What seems like nothing but a cute little crush to you, is our attempt
to get over deep seated and overpowering fear. We are trying to show you we want you. Our lust, emotions and desires are no less powerful than the guy that comes up to you in a bar, and practically sticks his dick in your face.
Which is what any guy with a big and/or expensive car/clothes etc, is doing by the way.
We lack the ability to be forward, so we are doing what we can, and the entire time you let us keep going we are building up hope.
For guys like me, hope is a curse.
For whatever reason, we lack the ability to just go and ask a girl out. When we do become attracted to someone, we try to woo them with whatever means we have. This will not always be obvious, but generally involves special treatment, and a desire to be close to them.
We hope our feelings will be returned, and when the girl ends up with another guy we get crushed. If that is the source of the term “having a crush on someone”, then perhaps it is a suitable one.
We also see the flaws of the guy she ends up with, or back with in some cases. That is not to say we do not see our own, most guys like me can’t help but see our flaws, and mentally increase them. This does not prevent us from comparing ourselves to the men that always seem to usurp the women we covet.
If the guy seems like he’s an okay dude, generally we will get over this latest defeat quicker.
It’s when we can see clear reasons why she would be better off with us, that the festering pit inside grows.
Here are a couple of simple ones, and the reasoning.
A playa type. Really anyone dressed in “gangsta gear” draws the contempt of a more mentally capable person, particularly white guys/wiggers.
There are many reasons for this, but I will stick to the relationship aspects.
A playa is a guy that likes to fuck lots of girls, and while he might have “his girl” (generally the best looking one he has scored, kept as a status symbol, not out of any affection), he will fuck around at every opportunity.
Any guy that dresses like that is either living that life, or wants to.
The question guys like us ask ourselves, is why would any girl want to mess around with a guy that is advertising he will fuck around on you, or that you’re the one he’s cheating on “his girl” with?
This also goes for women that go back to cheaters, get envolved with married men, or knowingly fucks around with a guy that already has a girl.
Why put yourself in a position to get hurt? Or hurt someone else for that matter. A woman that cheats with a guy, is just as deserving of contempt as the guy is. Perhaps more so, since you would think they would have some degree of empathy with the wife/girlfriend.
Then there’s the Drunk/Druggie. Now I honestly don’t care about drug use for fun, but an abuser is a hazard, a disaster waiting to happen. It might be physical, or mental but the assault will happen eventually.
Really it all boils down to Nice Guy Vs Bad Boy.
Everyone is flawed, Prince Charming does not exist. You are picking merits vs flaws.
Safe Vs exciting. Better looking vs more faithful.
They always seem to choose the Bad Boy with the good looks.
The answer; apparently, is that women are masochists. We don’t have a shot till every charming asshole in town has had his.
Of course at that point you’re all used up, and we don’t want anything to do with you.
Hell, maybe we watch too many old movies, but is a pure (at least mostly) woman really too much to ask for? A virgin would be optimal, but she doesn’t have to be. I just don’t want to be the guy you end up with because you’re tired of being abused/cheated on or whatever your sob story is.
To me there is nothing more pathetic than looking at profiles on dating websites, and seeing a girl 18-early 20s that’s looking for someone that wont treat her bad, because shes’ tired of being taken advantage of. Honestly, how much of a tramp do you have to be to have been emotionally fed up by age 25? The real joke is that they still wont reply to guys like me, because they really haven’t reached that point yet. They might
have had one or two relationships end badly, but they still have it in their heads they can find Prince Charming.
Girls, heres a clue. A good looking guy is used to getting his way, and getting what he wants.
If you wont give it to him. He will find it somewhere else. There is no such thing as a guy that’s great looking, and a really great guy. They only exist on TV.
There is always something bad to go with the good, and the better looking they are on the outside, the more rotten they are on the inside.
You go into these relationships thinking you can change him, or he’s different then find out otherwise.
Along a similar thought path, it is said confidence is key. Did it even occur to you that the confidant guy either has plenty of practice, or an over-inflated ego?
A guy that knows just what to say, has had practice. Been there, done that lots of times, and he doesn’t care if you reject him.
Those things don’t occur to you till after the hearts been broken a few times. That you can’t change him, that prince charming really isn’t out there.
Then when you have finally figured out the truth you come looking for guys like me.
The ones that may not be good looking, but will at least treat you well.
When you are burnt out.
Some of us don’t want you at that point.
Hey, you wouldn’t even talk to us when you were still whole (mentally, more importantly than physically), why should we settle for a burnt out version now?
Here’s an idea. Maybe if you gave us nice guys a shot from the beginning you would save yourself from a lot of pain!
But hey, like I said, Women apparently are masochists.
Now, back to teasing.
Perhaps this is my own bitter heart talking, but any women that teases a guy and gets hurt, deserves it.
It may be a game to you, but to us it’s very real.
Yes our attempts to show attraction, and affection are childish, and there’in lies the clue. In the arena of love and relationships,
WE ARE ENEXPERIENCED!
When our affections are not returned we act like a child does, for lack of a more “mature” release. We become sulky, irritable, and tend to lash out without provocation. Kinda like a woman doe’s when she doesn’t get her way.
A woman that throws a brick through an unfaithful man’s car windshield, is acting no less childishly.
The truth here is that calling any behaviour childish is based out of self denial, such behaviour is honest behaviour.
Lacking the ability to express our desires to the women we are attracted to, forces us to combat our fears and take a chance.
While you are stringing us along (knowingly or not), we have hope. Hope of finally having a relationship.
For many the hope of finally having sex. Most of all, it lets us hope we really aren’t as unlovable, ugly, and alone as we feel.
The feeling when that hope is crushed is one of the most painful psychological experiences a person can suffer.
Is it really that hard to understand why a man might snap, and decide “I’m not giving her up this time!”
If the girl was unaware, then she is blameless.
Any women that knowingly teases and strings on a guy like me deserves what she gets. You may not know the pain you are causing; and many wouldn’t care even if they did, but it’s there.
So the question is, what do guys like me do?
We might meet someone so special we finally take that leap, and for better or worse have the experience. That can either make it easier to try again, or drive someone to a hermit like existence.
Or we keep letting ourselves go through that pain till we snap and do something drastic.
Or we voluntarily enter that hermit like existence, because we don’t want to hurt anymore.
Is our behaviour healthy? Not in the least. It’s a psychological handicap, perhaps even a disease.
That doe’s not mean it’s something for you to make fun of, ignore or be cutesy about. If you have a guy around you that is shy, and obviously has a crush on you, try actually talking to him about it. He might freak out at first, but in the long run you will be helping him.
Give him a chance if you’re not with anyone else. You might be pleasantly surprised.
Well I’ve said my peace on that topic, and feel free to leave comments insulting me,
bashing, flaming, arguing, agreeing, praising or worshiping as you see fit.
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