Yes, this is a guide to bullies and how to deal with them, and not just the school yard variety.
Bottom line is you have to beat them at their own game. That’s it, there really is no secret.
Make them fear you and you’ve won the fight.
Be it a higher up in your company that enjoys giving you grief, a bigger kid at school, a cop with
a hard on for causing you trouble. Doesn’t matter. Bullies are like monsters, taking them on might be
scary and in some way dangerous, but they all have a weakness you can exploit if you play your cards right.
You also have another thing going for you. All bullies are used to people giving way to them.
It is highly unlikely a bully will have the paranoia required to cover his actions completely.
Most will avoid obvious complications. Workplace cameras, having an accomplice (willing or unwitting) to
provide a cover story, etc.
An asshole cop is unlikely to think you would have a digital recorder and camera handy to document his harassment, for example.
The weakness of the Asshole cop is the very master to which he/she is supposed to be serving. The law. There are laws to prevent cops from abusing their positions, and there is plenty of “spy gear” available to help you catch and document their actions.
This is also somewhat true of the Office space bully. Offices have rules that need to be obeyed too. A bully can’t help but break as many as he/she thinks they can get away with. Use that to your advantage. If you can find some good dirt on the bully, send it in anonymously to every person above them in the totem poll. Demotion, or getting fired being the desired result. Hell, even a CEO has a board of directors he must answer to.
Unfortunately if your bully is the owner and boss, you really have no options other than quiting or eating shit from them.
Of course uncovering an affair with the secretary, and a little blackmail to get’em off your back might work, if you can dig up a good enough skeletons from their closet.
Hey, I never said dealing with a bully would leave you with clean hands.
Do unto others, as Others do unto you.
It’s okay to play nice as long as others do. If they don’t, then take the gloves off, or put them on. Depends on what you’ll be doing;)
Obviously in the “grown up world” a fist fight rarely solves the problem, sometimes it will, usually it leads to you taking a ride “downtown” in a cop car.
But, for every bully there is usually a way to deal with them. Finding a better job is one way, but never take a worse one just to get away.
In the school yard things are a bit more simple. A bully is likely using his/her size to incure a reign of terror. This is simple to deal with.
Because no matter what yard they are the bully of, Bullies don’t know how to fight.
I say again, since your head froze up for a moment, that bullies don’t know how to fight. They know how to use fear, and that gets them by.
Fear of their size, fear of their social or professional status, whatever.
BUT, they have never learned how to fight.
You have the benefit of knowing you will stand up to them, and can prepare. They can’t. As I said before, a bully does not expect anyone to fight back. When someone does merit “a pounding” they expect to be able to crush them. A bully never thinks he/she will get hurt or experience pain. If you also know nothing about fighting, you will not hurt them, and will be crushed as expected.
Learn a martial art. Study anatomy. Work out with whatever you have on hand and focus on hitting, and kicking.
Investigate their activities, use cameras and recorders to document their actions, bullies can’t help but leave piles of dirt around, find some.
If you are going to deal with a bully in a physical manner take your time, and give yourself a chance to feel confident.
When YOU are ready, provoke the fight, but don’t go for any “in the yard after school” bullshit.
This is a usage of the bullies number one weapon. FEAR!
You want to have this fight right out where they have no choice but to put up, or lose face.
They will either rise to the challenge or show them-self as the coward all bullies really are.
Since some bullies operate as a team, or an “alpha” with his pack, forcing them to an on the spot fight also helps prevent gang-ups.
So don’t give them either advantage. Provoke the bully, and keep at it till he/she swings first, make sure the bully make the first physical move!
Be ready for it, and let your feet and hands do the talking.
The Knees, groin(balls), kidneys(in the side below the ribs), gut, chin, and neck are areas that can drop a foe with one good strike.
Give’em a couple of good kicks on the floor to (kick)GET! your (kick)POINT! a-(kick)CROSS!
If the bully wont fight you, make damn sure everyone knows it right there. Do your damnedest to provoke him/her to take a swing at you.
A bully that backs down has acknowledged you as superior. They will try to start some shit with you later, usually after school when they think they have a free go at you. Don’t give them the chance. After school, go looking for them. Make sure you have some of your new friends with you to help avoid gang attacks.
Make the challenge formal. One on one, me and you. Right now. If you really want to fight, go ahead and take’em out. The quicker and nastier the better.
If you aren’t hot for blood yourself, give’em a chance to back down again. If they back down a second time, you aren’t 100% in the clear, but the odds of his/her posse sticking with’em is much lower. After all he/she had two opportunities to shut you up, and didn’t do it.
Be aware you might get jumped, and be ready for a brawl. If he/she still has any posse left and is trying to gang up on you, make sure you point out how the bully couldn’t take care of things on his/her own. Only a coward needs a gang to settle a score with one person.
Once the fight goes down you no doubt are wondering about getting in trouble.
Yes, you will get in trouble. You might get expelled till next year. You might even do some time in juvie, if you hurt the bully bad enough.
None of these things should stop you. Letting a bully torment you day in and day out wears down your since of self worth. No punishment you might endure is scary enough to sacrifice your dignity.
As for the possibility of getting shot or stabbed. I guess that’s a risk you have to weigh yourself. It’s tragic that cowardice is so prevalent that people wont settle things fist to fist, but would rather stab or shoot someone. I guess the question you have to ask yourself is,
is your dignity and self respect worth the risk?
So again the bottom line here is bullies use fear to control people. They don’t expect anyone to really fight back, and they are arrogantly sure they can deal with anything “the weaklings” throw at them.
The way you deal with a bully is to fling something they can’t deal with.
Whatever the arena they are being a bully in, they have never really learned how to fight in it. They use fear to get what they want.
Be it a school yard, an office, your neighborhood, a cop, doesn’t matter. A bully wins by keeping you too scared to do anything.
Bullies are cowards at heart. They have gotten away with their crap for a long time, sometimes their whole lives.
They actually have no other way of dealing with the world.
Some people are just mean. Some were raised to be that way, others just seem born mean.
Regardless, a bully has never had to face fear, or a real defeat. If you let them off easy, they will view this as getting away with whatever they have done. AND a bullies idea of getting off easy may be very different than yours.
The best course of action when dealing with a bully, is acting to remove them or yourself from their area of influence, without hurting yourself.
Barring this you must take action to either physically, professionally, or in some other way get yourself in a position of power over them. Power and fear are the only things they understand. You MUST give them a reason to fear you.
Well I’ve said my peace on that topic, and feel free to leave comments insulting my mother,
bashing, flaming, arguing, agreeing, praising or worshiping as you see fit.
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